We've all heard about or been involved with family fortunes locked up in family feuds after a loved one has passed away.  Interestingly enough, the fights themselves are not typically caused by the way the money and possessions are being distributed or the method in which the affairs are being handled.  It's almost always about a lack of communication from the person who's passed.

What is unfortunate, is these things happen, even though  the feuds and miscommunications can be easily avoided.

This is all part of the Estate Planning process.  It begins with thinking out what your final wishes are and talking to family members about it.  It's not at all uncommon to have sibling rivalries.  What frequently happens with these rivalries is they are swept under the rug and not discussed at all.  The rivalry then resurfaces after a parent or a grandparent passes and their earnings and possessions are passed along. 

As an example, a sentimental keepsake or a sizable portion of the Estate is bequeathed to one of the children...  then comes the objections from other family members:  Julie feels like she was the one that she was there more often when Mom was sick;  Andrew did all the work to remodel the kitchen and he feels like he should have got some kind of payback in the will; Stephanie was always told by her Dad that she was his favorite.  She feels like she should have been the one getting the house.

Ever heard of stories like this? 

I submit to you that there are some of these feelings and thoughts of one kind or another with just about every family in this country.

Death of a loved one is rated as one of the most stressful and difficult times that a person will experience in their lifetimes'.  The last thing that anyone needs is to have arguments and litigation involved at the same time.  Open communication with family members can help to avoid some of these problems.   

Obviously, the most important reasons to establish harmony and peace within your family goes well beyond the brass tacks of finances. We all intend to have loving and amicable relations within our family relationships, but it can be a very complicated task to accomplish.

First of all, create a plan.  Take your time and really think about your beneficiaries and what you want for each of them.  Never make decisions in the heat of the moment or while there is a rift in relations with someone you are going to name in your will.  We all know that many of these disputes come and go.

Secondly, sit down with family and those who are mentioned in your will and explain how you're dividing up your estate and if need be, why you're doing it the way you are. 

Next, sit down with a trusted professional and make sure you have all the necessary documents needed to make your final wishes legal. And not only legal, but unambiguous. Be sure that all of the documents are recorded and your assets are transferred to your living trust properly.  Also, in your living trust, be very clear on what your wishes are for any of your minor children.

If you take the above-mentioned steps before your demise, you and your loved ones can breathe easy knowing that when the time comes... and I assure you, the time will come, your affairs will be well taken care of without all the unnecessary drama that seems to come along with so many estates these days.



Peace and Success,



Kevin Halper